Past Digital Conversation/Debate I Saved (SMS Dialogue Transpired in December 2015)

Ryan

Yo calm your gf down Bruh

Stephen (Me)

1. She's not my "gf."

2. I'm not gonna tell her to "calm down."

3. I'm with her on this one man. There was no reason to bring rape into it. It was just a nice, harmless, inherently good post.

And there's no reason for y'all to fight over a subject like this; it was never intended to spark a disagreement. It just reemphasizes our natural tendency as humans to make judgments quickly and make haste in our words and actions, which is why we have to be more cautious of the things we say, as well as how we say them.

I personally want you guys to make up and be friends but I don't know if she is willing to do that at this point. I hope we can still be friends, and you can see my perspective in all this, despite what you may see as merely my inclination to bias against you and stand by Anna.....

The matter of the fact is the post was meant to demonstrate the genuineness and conscientiousness of thinking before we speak, and there was no reason to bring gang rape into the equation, as well as there was no reason for an argument to ensue.

Anyway, that's basically all I have to say. I hope y'all can work things out between the two of you and that we are still friends. Good luck on all your exams! 📚

Ryan

1) if she's not your gf, why you so thirsty for her?, 3) "inherently good" I think that's debatable, just because something isn't kind doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. I despise cultural authoritarianism and that is what her post was advocating.

The first gate is fine

The second gate is questionable

The last gate is just flat out wrong

You can follow that last gate of you want to coddle the person you're conversing with

If*

I refuse to coddle people like dogs even if they act like it

Stephen (Me)

1. I don't know why you're turning this into an argument with me.... I don't see what I've done to hurt you. 

2. Like I said before.... she is NOT my girlfriend, for a number of complicated reasons, none of which I will explain to you; but we are still close friends and care for one another. Also, I'm not "thirsty" for her; I love her; there's a difference! Guys that are "thirsty" are looking for sex or some sort of sexual activity and don't want to commit to anything serious. I, on the other hand, am willing to do whatever it takes to be with her and to show her that I care about her, and it in NO WAY requires any sort of sexual activity for me to be pleased. 

3. Speaking from experience, I can tell you that kind words, as well as kind actions, often make all the difference for people. Also, just because you don't agree with her proposal doesn't mean that you have I make a mockery of it, nor does it mean that you have to include a completely unrelated and sensitive topic such as rape! There are definitely better, more thoughtful and considerate ways in which you could've addressed the issue you had with her post, rather than involving gang rape and undermining a post that was supposed to be serious and heartfelt by underscoring the its worth and making it into a joke. 

4. All of those statements about the three gates you just made are merely opinions, just as the statements on her post are opinions. And it's perfectly okay for you to disagree with another person's opinion but there are ways to do it that do NOT involve unnecessarily discussing rape in a joking manner and making a fool of a person with a truly passionate, and in MY personal opinion, accurate stance. 

5. Making use of the last gate does not equate to "coddling." For the majority of people, treating one another with kindness and respect is simply common decency, a belief held widely from people to people, culture to culture, religion to religion, all across the globe; it's an essentially a worldwide phenomenon! And most people would agree that it just "feels" like the right thing to do, to be kind to others. Once again, you may disagree with that but..... there are MUCH better ways of expressing your opinion. 

6. Even though we are not dating, I do care about Anna very much so, yes, I will agree with you if you think there is some sort of bias involved in this because I might not be as inclined to stand up for just anyone as I would for her. But ALL people deserve kindness. It is just especially important, in my case, that she receive it. So, from one man to another, I just humbly ask you to be more cautious with your words to her and, even though you might not want to and you may not necessarily agree, I would REALLY appreciate it if you treated her with respect. And please, don't take this as just another guy looking out for his "gf!" Because it's more than that! This is just me asking a personal favor of you, regardless of your stance on the subject, especially since she's really had a tough time her first semester in college. Thank you.

So is everything cool between us? And between you and Anna? Or are we going to hold grudges?

Ryan

Well, first let me say if what Anna's quote was just an opinion doesn't that in itself contradict what the quote say with regards to the first gate. Second, I don't think everyone deserves kindness and respect. Those things are earned. Third, I don't argue with people because I hold a grudge. I argue for the sake of arguing. Fourth, the girlfriend and thirsty parts, I admit, we're just cheap jokes. Fifth, I don't have to make a mockery of other people's opinions. However I want to. Sixth, again I will admit that the gang rape part was just a way to "trigger" or troll her. I admit it was cheap. Seventh, again I will try to be nice and respectful to others in discussion. However this is hard for me. But I will not show respect for opinions unless they deserve it.

Oh and I don't hold grudges against either of you

I just enjoy playing devils advocate

Stephen (Me)

Okay, well I don't "argue for the sake of arguing" so I'm not going to argue with you about the validity of her post, nor do I agree that "not everyone deserves kindness and respect, and that those things are earned." So we'll just have to agree to disagree there. And thank you for not holding a grudge. And it's okay to play Devil's advocate on occasion, or even much of the time, there just comes a point when it can start to hurt people's feelings. And when that happens, at least I would argue, it has gone too far and a line should be drawn. Now I suspect you won't agree with me on that, but that's okay. I just hope we can set aside our differences and still be friends?

Also, thank you for agreeing to be "nice and respectful to others in discussion." I know Anna would really appreciate that! 😊

Also, I REALLY hope that when you said "I refuse to coddle people like dogs, even if they act like it," you were not implying that Anna is acting like "a bitch." Cause if you were, I will NOT stand for that, because that's EXTREMELY offensive, uncalled for, as well as wildly inaccurate! And I would know about the last part because I have gotten to know her VERY well this year, and she is truthfully a wonderful person, one of the most real, kind, honest people I've ever met, a lifelong friend....