Short List

Sometimes I think about how it would probably just be easier to resign myself to the endless waves of depression that surround me, rather than to continue hopelessly fighting a losing battle. Then I naturally remind myself: “you shouldn’t commit suicide. People would miss you. People would weep for you. They would mourn your death.” At that moment, I remember. I can count the short list of those who would genuinely care with my ten fingers, most of them being family members (who are essentially obligated to care because of social and cultural norms). Plus, it isn’t about them anyway. Who cares how they would feel? If that’s the only way those few people would even pay attention to me, it shows what kind of people they are and how much they really “care” for me in the first place.