Heidi

Okay, so idk if you’re even receiving these cause I’m not sure if you blocked my number (maybe I will send this from another number just to ensure you get it idk?) But if you can, this is the last text message I will send you unless you reply. Cause I’m not gonna keep asking if you want nothing to do with me. 

Anyway, I’m gonna open up and be real with you for a minute. So if this is the last time you hear from me, at least I can say I tried. I hope you’ll do the same for me.

Right now I just feel confused, hurt, and a little lost. Everything seemed like it was going just fine earlier this week. I said I enjoyed your company and wanted “to see you again”, and you said “let’s go on a date then” and you opened up and talked about how important exclusivity/monogamy and labels are to you, and how when you’re with someone you’re “100% there for them.” 

And I told you, at this point, I’ve dealt with so much bs and been out of the game for so long, I’ve lowered my standards in terms of relationships and I’d be cool with whatever (friends, casual, partying, dating, etc.) But I’m not gonna lie your words got me pretty amped and I was excited for the potential for something real. And when we scheduled the date for today (Sunday), the anticipation got to me so much I couldn’t sleep at night (plus I’ve been sick). 

Then suddenly, out of nowhere (at least from my perspective), it seemed like you started ignoring me (or “curving” me as you called it), and maybe even blocked me? And now you’re just hanging up on me right away? And the truth is... idk why, genuinely I don’t understand the reason for the cold shoulder. Idk if it was something I said or did that set you off, or if you just decided I’m not your type, or you’re still trying to get over your ex and take things slowly. Idk.

Whatever the case, I just wish you’d tell me. Fuck my feelings. Fuck the fact that I’m hella into you. Fuck the fact I’m assuming the date I’ve been planning is cancelled. Fuck the fact I woulda treated you like a queen. Fuck all that, cause I’ve basically given up on all that. And if you’re not into me, I get it. I’ll move on. Life goes on. I’ve been rejected countless times. 

All I’m asking for is a very brief explanation. So if I made a mistake, I don’t make it again with someone else. If you’re willing to give me that courtesy, please just call me one last time at ***-***-****. If not, it was really nice knowing you.

Btw, just so you know, cause of your inspiring words, I submitted photos to The Salt Agency and plan to submit applications to more agencies. So thank you for that. Also, I got a gift for you like a week ago and I promised myself I’d give it to you if I ever saw you again (cause I had an eerie feeling when I left Havana I probably wouldn’t tbh). So if you want it, lmk and maybe I could mail it to you? 

Anyway, I won’t be bothering you anymore with texts (I might try to call you again just cause I would sleep better with any sort of closure/clarity, but idk if there’s a point tbh). 

With the utmost sincerity, this might be the last you hear from me. So I hope all goes well for you and you accomplish your dreams. Whether alone or with a guy by your side, you have a hell of a lot of good to offer the world, and so do I. Whatever the case, I’m glad I met you.

✌🏽 and ❤️

- Stephen M.