Penance

One night a long time ago, I had a notably pleasant dream that involved you. Usually triggered by attempting to sleep in a supine position (instead of lying on my side, which is how I normally rest), it was another very rare episode of sleep paralysis for me. I think I snuck into your bedroom. Or maybe you snuck into mine. I honestly don't remember every detail. Either way, I was fairly surprised because you assumed a dominant role and aggressively straddled my body with your knees bent. At that point (and for the remainder of the hallucination), I was conscious and unable to move or speak. Then, to put it mildly, you proceeded to repeatedly use my erect penis for vaginal penetration (without concern for the apparent lack of contraceptive measures). That's when the intense moaning started. Male and female ejaculation (and orgasms) later followed. After remaining like that for a while, I switched to a sedentary position on the edge of the bed's mattress. The passionate sexual intercourse continued, but this time you wrapped your arms and your legs around my torso. Moreover, you pressed your luscious breasts against my chest and repeatedly kissed my neck. The combination of feeling your voluptuous figure, hearing your overjoyed moans, and seeing your freckled face (and rosy cheeks) overwhelmed my sensory nervous system. A tingling sensation spread from my head to my toes. My body's production of feel-good hormones went into overdrive; I entered an undiscovered and exquisite state of euphoria.

This is my formal confession to you, and to God. As a heterosexual and mortal man, I am inclined to entertain erotic fantasies. Nonetheless, that does not excuse my immoral habits. I reject the inappropriate and explicit nature of my offenses, I vow to resist the inevitable temptation to delight in such impure thoughts, and I humbly implore you to absolve me of my vile and flagrant sins. Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.