Callous Parting

Let me remind you that you'll be remembered this way because of choices you made. You chose bad over good, wrong over right. The nature of our relationship was predominantly helpful to you and harmful to me. Yet, we collectively twisted reality so you could cope more effectively. And, in your adamant denial of the truth of the matter, you selfishly severed the connection. You hurt me; you left me alone. You essentially told me to fuck off and never contact you again. Now you've suddenly returned, trying to carve a new path toward my heart. How should I react? Are you here for me? Or for you? Did you only message me to ease your feelings of guilt? Or is this a case of sincere concern for my welfare? I don't know. But I do know that the act feels like a gesture rooted in selfishness. I spent the last two weeks suppressing every emotion/memory that you're currently evoking from me. I was explicitly instructed that I should abstain from reaching out to you and that this is goodbye (forever). When I asked what should be done if you ever attempt to get in touch with me, you said "I doubt that will ever happen." Especially considering the context, that's not a moment I will easily forget. Words like that stick with you. I actually trusted you to be different from everyone else. But, much like so many others have, you ultimately turned your back on me. How do I know you didn't bad-mouth me too? I don't know what to think anymore. Formerly fond memories have now become painful, tainted by such a callous parting. You filled me with hopelessness; you broke my spirit. Still, you dare to ask me if I'm okay and to say that you're worried about me. After two weeks of total neglect, it disappoints (and disgusts) me to see that the first words you said to me were not a simple and self-aware phrase like "I'm sorry."