Kill or Be Killed

I want to believe you when you say that you won't suddenly and permanently abandon me. I really do. If I'm being completely honest, I have no reason not to believe you specifically. It's just that my own gender bias against women, due to my lengthy history of negative experiences, won't allow me to fully trust anyone in that regard.

After being abruptly deserted numerous times, I learned to do the same to others without any personal preparation or hesitation. That way, even though I terminated a potentially redeemable relationship, I did so of my own volition and I saved myself from the possibility of enduring more pain, and sustaining more scars, in the future. Now I'm basically a professional when it comes to making clean breaks from loved ones.

I just use my brain to tuck away all my memories, sweet and sour, of the desired person (or people). And those memories remain confined to the darkest, most distant recesses of my mind. As time passes those same memories shrink to fragments of memories. And with the passing of more time those fragments continue to disintegrate until they become microscopic remnants. Eventually those remnants, in essence, disappear forever. At that point the damage is irrevocable and the memories are unrecoverable. For all intents and purposes, I erased a person (or persons) from my memory and will almost never be reminded of them again.