Pour My Heart Out

January 2019

Look, so before I say anything else, I want to clarify this message is NOT an attempt to try to win you over or some 💩 like that. I am not in denial; I understand the time for that has passed. If you say you aren’t interested, then so be it. I won’t try to change your mind, because that wouldn’t be right. 

Also, like I said before, I appreciate your honesty in this situation. Considering the fact the last two people I pursued something with completely ghosted me out of the blue, it means a lot. 

Now, I’ve been rejected countless times (more than you could possibly know). For a while now, I’ve been at a point where I’m just numb to it. So please, don’t search for a reason to feel pity. I have made significant adaptations to my expectations in the pursuit of romantic interests over the years to account for the inevitability of rejection. 

However, considering you are the only one to not suddenly and completely cut off contact with me, it would be very helpful for me if you’d just try to provide some sort of explanation. Think about it from my perspective: after hearing “it’s nothing you said or did” from so many different people, it’s difficult not to envision it being something I said or did. It’s just a logical conclusion. 

So, if you’d be willing to offer any information regarding your reason for disinterest, I would be so grateful. Was I too boring? Too forward? Not forward enough? Maybe too awkward? Not confident enough? Lack of eye contact? Underdressed? Not as attractive in person as you imagined? Was it the age gap? Or the fact that I dropped out of college? Any info would help. And I know you might think honesty will hurt my feelings. But the truth is honesty about this would be much more helpful to me than ambiguity. I don’t want to waste the time of any more terrific women like you wondering what I might be doing or saying wrong, if it is something I can control. 

Anyway, if you decide you want to share more of what’s on your mind, just call me. You have my number. If you’re not comfortable doing that, that’s more than okay. I get it. 

By the way, in case this is our last conversation, I want to emphasize your value before you move on with your life. As cliche as it might sound, I have used Tinder on/off for almost three years (finding over 500 matches) and you are the best overall match I have ever encountered, by far. Additionally, you were my first date through the app. And you might think that’s BS, but I truly mean that. I’d be lucky to find another match half as good as you. 

You truly are a beautiful, intelligent, athletic woman, wise beyond your years. And from what I’ve gathered, it seems like you’ve got your stuff together. When I said you are “out of my league” yesterday, despite your age, I meant it. I just hope whoever you date next appreciates you for all you’re worth, because you really are a catch. Whomever you ultimately end up with will be one lucky man. 

And I apologize if those words made you feel uncomfortable, but I’m a guy who always wears his heart on his sleeve, regardless of the consequences. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. 

With that said, I genuinely wish you the best in all your future endeavors. It is clear to me you have so much potential and I’m sure your future is bright. If you want to remain friends, I am here. If not, I understand. Either way, I’m glad I met you. Thank you. 

Sincerely, 

Stephen M. 

P.S. If you read this far, thank you for tolerating my pouring my heart out. I chose to text this rather long message instead of calling because you did not seem in the mood to talk on the phone. I apologize if that assumption was incorrect. 

P.S.S.

Also, if you don’t wanna hear from me at all and block my number and/or snap, I get it. It wouldn’t be the first time.