On the Brink

 Normally I strongly prefer to keep topics/events like this to myself, to avoid evoking feelings of pity. But this time I'm choosing to make an exception.

Yesterday (May 4th, 2022) at approximately 5:25 PM EST I suddenly felt a sharp and severe pain in my abdomen/chest. Although the pressure (and resulting pain) was localized, it was so strong that it heavily restricted my body's airway for several minutes. As I was gasping for air, I called my mother. 

I immediately instructed her to call 911 because I was struggling to breathe/speak. And since I live alone, I was in fear for my life. I didn't know if this was a heart attack, an allergic reaction, or something else. So many thoughts rushed through my mind as I considered the possibility of losing consciousness. I wouldn't wish that feeling of uncertainty on my worst enemy. 

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. I am still here, very much alive. After about 5-10 minutes, my breathing had slowed and the pain had largely subsided. However, I don't know for certain why this occurred. And I'm still concerned that it could happen again. With that said, I feel fine now (at least physically). But, to be completely honest, I was/am a little scared. This was a wake-up call for me.

While I feel that I've already made some efforts to do so, I aim to better refrain from taking this beautiful life (and all the glorious details that accompany it) for granted. And that includes ALL of the people whom I encounter and with which I connect - past, present, and future. Regardless of how brief and seemingly insignificant the impact, I appreciate you. I don't care about how long we've known one another or the current status of our relationship; thank you. You matter to me, and I wish to make that abundantly clear. 

While I don't want to label this moment of terror a "near-death experience," I have undoubtedly (and unexpectedly) caught an enlightening glimpse of the immeasurable value of human life. But I know that I can't mend the countless mistakes I've made throughout mine by way of a single message shared across a social media platform. Nevertheless, I can (and will) attempt to refine my expression of gratitude and my sense of empathy.

I hope I don't fall victim to some sort of major misfortune. Be that as it may, in the event that I face an untimely demise, please know I LOVE YOU. Furthermore, if you're grappling with a problem (no matter how minor) and you're looking for someone to listen/support, comment below or send me a private message if you'd like.

Thank you for reading and stay blessed. You are never truly alone. ❤️